If you haven’t always had a bad attitude at work, consider the possibility that the problem may not entirely be with you. No person lives in a vacuum, and things like abusive bosses and negative coworkers can have a significant influence. If you used to enjoy your work and now feel negatively about it, consider what has changed. Have you moved to a new position? Maybe you don’t feel suited to your new duties yet. Are you at a different place in life? For example, perhaps as a teenager you enjoyed your job in retail, but ten years on you’re looking for more than your current retail job can give you. A feeling of dissatisfaction or purposelessness could cause a bad attitude at work.
If you hit a “midday slump” and get grouchy, the fix could be as simple as getting up to take a short walk or eating a healthy snack. If you notice that you frequently feel bad after interacting with one person, such as your boss or a coworker, you’ll need to figure out how to address this. Taking action regarding negative influences at work can help you feel happier and more productive. [2] X Research source
For example, imagine you see the following journal entry: “Boss yelled at me for being late with a project. I felt really dumb and stupid. " This entry suggests you should talk to your boss about speaking to you more constructively, and also that you should remember that making the occasional mistake doesn’t mean you’re stupid.
For example, even if you have a horrible boss or a negative coworker, you can still choose to respond in negative or in positive ways. Will you contribute to the problem, or will you work to make it better? Negativity can spread from person to person. [5] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Do not let yourself be a transmitter.
If you cannot reduce your exposure to negative items, change your reaction to them. When you see negative news like a story about a natural disaster, think instead about how you could help. Could you donate money, clothes, food, or your time? Consider positive actions that you can take in response to negative items.
Instead of saying something like “Bad idea—it’ll never work,” say something like, “I have concerns about that. Would you like to hear them?” Instead of passive aggression, which says things you don’t mean or communicates sarcastically, be direct. For example, avoid saying things like, “Noooo, why would I have a problem?” if you are upset. Instead, try something like, “Yes, I am not happy with how you’ve been talking to me in front of my coworkers. Can we talk?” Workplace gossip can be a huge problem that contributes to negative attitudes. Don’t participate in it. [9] X Expert Source Lindsay GordonCareer Coach Expert Interview. 21 September 2021.
If you are going through a rough time or have experienced a tragic event, do speak with your supervisor or a trusted coworker to let her know that you might need support. [11] X Research source
Keep your statements “I”-focused, such as “I would like to talk to you about something. I notice that lately you’ve been talking a lot about what bothers you about your clients. I know we all have irritations with our clients, but the consistent focus on negativity is really making it hard for me to stay positive and energized at work. Would you like to talk about what’s going on?” Using “I”-statements avoid issuing blame or sounding judgmental and can keep your coworker from going on the defensive.
Use empathetic statements, such as “That sounds like it’s really hard for you” or “I’m sorry you’re going through that. " Even if the conversation doesn’t go well, you have tried to address the problem. If you need to take the matter to HR or to your boss, you will be able to say you tried to work with the other person and didn’t get anywhere.
Abusive, unacceptable behaviors include: intimidation, harassment, deceit, humiliation, personal criticism or name-calling, and aggression. If the behavior is consistently and significantly abusive or hostile, you may have a legal case. [14] X Trustworthy Source US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission U. S. government agency that enforces civil rights in the workplace Go to source For example, if your boss criticizes your work by saying, “This looks terrible! My grandmother could write a better report!” this is an abusive behavior. However, it probably isn’t enough to sue her over. Sometimes, bosses just don’t have very good communication skills. For example, if your boss criticizes your work by saying, “This is terrible. Fix it,” it isn’t necessarily abusive, but it definitely isn’t helpful. It’s also likely to make you feel bad about yourself. If you think your boss’s communication style could use some work, it’s a good idea to approach her about it. [15] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
Approach the issue as a collaboration. [17] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Remember, your boss may not even realize that she has a problem, and she may not be intending to be hurtful. For example, you could say something like, “I notice I’m having some issues at work. Can we chat about ways to address them?” Look for common ground. For example, you could say something like, “I know we both really value making sure that our projects are high quality” to let your boss know that you and she have the same ultimate goal. [18] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Be direct but respectful. Use “I”-statements. You could say something like, “I’ve found I work best with specific, concrete feedback rather than general commentary. Do you think you could offer me more specific feedback on my reports? I think that would really help me make them the best they can be. " Be honest. If your boss has said things that are belittling, harassing, or mean-spirited, be clear about that, but avoid sounding judgmental. For example, you could try something like, “I really felt hurt when you yelled at me in front of my office-mates last week. It would help me if you talked with me privately about areas where I can improve. " By modeling clear, honest, but polite discussion of your feelings, you may even help your boss deal with you better. Avoid passive-aggressive behaviors. While studies suggest they may be better than nothing, they don’t communicate your actual needs and wishes to your boss. [19] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
For example, say, “Hi, everyone. You might have noticed that I have been complaining a lot recently about our company and the hours we work. I am sorry for bringing down the energy here at the office. I actually know that our company offers great benefits and support to us and I am very grateful for that. I am going to try to be more positive from now on!”
For example, when you feel frustrated because someone is taking too much space on the subway, think instead about how grateful you are for public transit. Think positively about how happy you are not to have to drive your car through snow and ice to work. Remind yourself to think positively during tense moments in the day. For example, before starting your commute or before a big meeting, pause and reflect on what has been going well. Watch out for negative thoughts such as, “Wow, I am not looking forward to this meeting. Sarah is always so hard on me. " Instead, try thinking: “I’m looking forward to hearing what Sarah has to say about my pitch. I think her feedback could be useful. " Thinking positively takes practice. Do not feel frustrated if your mind sometimes wanders back to negativity. Stoicism encourages positive thinking but also allows you to visualize the worst-case scenario when your thoughts dwell on negative moments. Usually, you can handle more than you think. See Be Stoic for more tips.
Trade your bad attitude for more gratitude. When you miss a meeting because of road construction, change your attitude. Rather than being frustrated about bad traffic, find some gratitude. Survey your surroundings and consider all the things for which you are thankful. For example, you could be thankful for your health, mental wellbeing, physical strength, close friends, and family, or the natural beauty that surrounds you. [24] X Research source Recognize with humility your place in the world and how wonderful it is to be living. Think of life as a gift rather than a right. [25] X Research source
Keep your affirmations focused on what you have control over. If you try a positive affirmation that relies on others’ actions or responses, you may well find that it doesn’t work out, because you can’t control how anyone behaves except yourself. [26] X Research source For example, an unhelpful affirmation might look like: “Everything is going to go great today!” You don’t have control over that. A colleague might be having a hard day. An important file might get corrupted. You might spill your lunch all over yourself. However, if you repeat an affirmation such as “I am strong enough to get through whatever life throws at me today,” you’re focused on what you can do, which will be helpful. For some people, eliminating any thoughts of the negative can actually be detrimental. In those cases, it is best to acknowledge the negative and move forward. Recognize your imperfections but still look for the positive.
Give your visualization as much detail as possible. The more detail, the more likely you will be to use it as a way to drive yourself to that goal.
For example, if you have a huge project to finish that is stressing you out, try to separate it into sub-tasks such as “Research the market information on Monday,” “Consult with the small business advisor on Tuesday,” “Write an outline on Wednesday,” “Write a first draft on Thursday,” and “Revise on Friday. " This is much more do-able than a single huge goal and will give you a positive sense of accomplishment as you check off the sub-tasks.
When you meet with your supervisor, you improve that relationship and assert yourself as someone who takes your job and performance seriously. By doing this, you can reap positive job-related benefits. Ask to work with someone who inspires you. If there is a person in your workplace who has a good attitude, you can learn to be positive by spending time working alongside that person. Ask your supervisor whether he can reassign tasks that you feel undermine your ability to have a positive attitude at work. If possible, alter your responsibilities so they align more with your strengths and occupational goals.
Avoid comparing yourself to others who seem to enjoy the parts of their jobs that you don’t enjoy. Remember, it is likely that your coworkers dislike parts of their jobs that you enjoy
