For example, you could say, “You haven’t been around much the past few years, and I know Jonah wants to have the same last name as his brothers and sisters. Do you think you’d object if we changed his last name to mine?” If he agrees, then you can usually pick up a form for him to sign. It should be available at the courthouse in the county where you live. [2] X Research source If you don’t know where the other parent is living, then you will need to try and find them. For example, you can do an Internet search and ask friends that you have in common if they know where the parent is located. Be prepared to tell the judge the steps you took to find the parent.
Your spouse (your stepchild’s biological parent) may need to complete the paperwork. Involve him or her in the process. There may be other forms you need to fill out. For example, in New York, you need to prepare an “order” for the judge to sign. Make sure you get everything from the clerk. [3] X Research source
Have an honest discussion with the child. The name change might be the child’s idea. However, if it isn’t, then be prepared to give reasons to the child why you want the name changed. You might say, “I’ve loved being your father for the past five years and would like to have the same name as you. You’re part of my family no matter what you decide. " You should also have the child’s biological parent involved in the conversation.
When you are finished, you should make a copy for your records and submit the completed forms to the court clerk. You may have to pay a filing fee. The amount will depend on the court. Include any necessary attachments. For example, if you had the father’s parental rights terminated, then you should attach a copy of the termination order. [5] X Research source You may also need to file a copy of the child’s birth certificate. [6] X Research source
In some courts, you can mail the forms certified mail, return receipt requested. [7] X Research source In other courts, you will need to have the forms hand delivered to the other parent. Typically, you can pay the sheriff or constable to make delivery for a small fee. If not, you can hire a private process server or ask someone 18 or older to make delivery (provided they are not part of the case). If you don’t know where the parent is living, then some states allow you to make service by publication. Generally, this means you publish notice in a newspaper where you last knew the parent was living.
If the other parent agrees to the name change, then you may not even need a hearing.
Alternately, the parent might not file a written objection but instead show up the day of the hearing to object.
Generally, you have to pay a fee, which will vary depending on where you live. You also need someone at the newspaper to fill out an affidavit, which identifies the dates the advertisement ran. The newspaper should have an affidavit or you can get one from the court clerk. Keep a copy of the completed affidavit and file it with the court.
How long your stepchild has had their current name. It might be harder to change a name the longer they have had it. What changing the name will do to the child’s relationship with their parents. If your stepchild has no relationship with the parent objecting to the name change, then you should point that out. Whether the child has suffered harassment or embarrassment based on their name. For example, you could argue that the child feels alienated from their siblings because they have different last names. Your motives in wanting to change the name. For example, you might want to relieve your stepchild of embarrassment or stress. What the child wants. If the child is old enough, then their desire to change the name will also be a powerful argument in your favor.
Also remember to turn off your cell phone before entering the courtroom.
Make only your strongest points based on the factors a judge analyzes. You won’t have a lot of time to argue. Speak in a loud, clear voice. Sometimes people talk softly when they get nervous. Don’t interrupt the judge. If the judge asks a question, stop talking and listen to the question. Ask for clarification if you don’t understand it. Answer the judge’s question directly. Don’t hem and haw.
When the other parent finishes, ask the judge, “Your Honor, may I speak?” Then quickly respond to the other parent.
You will probably have to pay a fee to get the certified order. The amount will differ by court.
