Hang out with different guys in different scenarios. That way you get to see if you like sitting at home watching a movie with one better than going to a concert with another, or vice versa. Going on dates with different guys is a good way to expand your horizons. You might find new favorite hobbies or places to eat while exploring your dating options. [2] X Research source
A good guy should always treat you with respect, even if he’s feeling stressed out. [3] X Expert Source Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
As time goes by, you might just find out that you don’t like a certain guy anymore. Or instead, you might find yourself falling head over heels for a different boy entirely. [4] X Research source
It’s always important to include things like good communication, attractiveness, trust, and respect in your list of standards. Look at your other friends’ relationships to see what you do and don’t like that they have. This will help you figure out what you think is important in a relationship as well as what are admirable traits and warning signs. Try focusing on traits that need to be proven over time, like respectfulness and a sense of security. [7] X Expert Source Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
Come up with an equal amount of good and bad things for each guy to fairly compare them. However, if you’re not able to make equal lists, then you’ll be finding out that perhaps there’s one guy with more positives than negatives and your decision just became a lot easier. All guys are going to have flaws. What’s important is that you’re able to accept the flaws of the guy who you pick. [8] X Research source
You’re not looking for a 10 out of 10 chemistry with someone. Instead, look for a 6 out of 10 chemistry mixed with a really solid friendship. [10] X Expert Source Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 29 July 2021. Common interests can be similar taste in music, movies, clothes, books or videogames, or even things like favorite restaurants or vacation spots. If you have similar future plans with a certain guy, then the two of you are heading in the same direction in life and could go far together. To go even deeper, consider who you share similar beliefs and core principles with. Whoever you choose will be the guy you do things with all the time. It’s important to like some of the same activities.
Whoever you choose should still be a good friend to you even if you’re in a dating relationship together. You need both romance as well as dependable, loyal friendship in a partner. Also, out of the guys you’re considering, think about which one you could see dating one of your own girl friends. If you’re willing to let him go because he would make someone else happy, then you’re better off as friends.
Think of picking a guy like buying something expensive. Consider the fact that you’re going to end up spending time, money, and emotional investment on the guy you pick. For example, you’re most likely going to be buying gifts for each other, spending weekends and evenings together, going on dates, and working through tough times together. You don’t have to be cold-hearted while thinking practically. Remember, you want to pick the guy who you would actually want to spend time and money on. Don’t make big decisions when you’re feeling super happy or extremely sad. Let any huge emotions pass before committing to anything so that your head is on straight.
Take a hiatus from any and all guys. It can be hard to make a decision when you’re only spending time around boys. Your mind will just spin its wheels thinking about all the options you have in guys. It’s good to just have a girls’ night without any boys. Or, have an evening to yourself to collect your thoughts by journaling out your concerns and observations about the guys you like.
If a guy specifically says he never wants to have kids and you do, you can probably back off from him since that could cause fights or a breakup in the future. If you’re not ready to specifically date one guy, you might not have to choose. You can still date a few guys casually. Just be sure you’re clear that you’re not looking for a serious relationship at the moment.
If one of the guys you’re interested in is jealous of the time you spend with other guys, take note. [15] X Research source Jealousy can be a red flag in a guy, but it can also be healthy if he likes you enough that he wants your full attention and feelings. If you find yourself thinking of one guy when you spend time with others, it may be that you can’t get him off your mind because you like him best.
Talking to a guy’s friends will also tell you about him. Getting insight from other people is helpful because you’re going to be biased in your decision making because your feelings can make it hard to see a guy’s flaws past his positives.
It’s always better to have more options so you don’t feel trapped and stuck with one guy. You always have the option to choose who you like or want to date. You are always able to walk away from a situation or relationship that doesn’t seem to be working out. Don’t blame yourself for having made a bad decision, simply learn from it and apply what you’ve learned to your next decision. [17] X Research source
