Does he make me laugh? Does he have a good sense of humor? We’re all attracted to people who can make us laugh. Guys with a good sense of humor make us excited and cause us to look at the world in a different way. If he tickles you, is it weird or do you like it? No guy should touch you in the obvious places unless you are ready for that, but like a hug around the waist, holding hands, or even his arm around you is okay, but if you’re at the stage where he is going to kiss you and you kiss him back, make sure that you are ready to be at that stage. When he kisses you, be sure you know how to kiss. You don’t want it to be awkward. The guy you are going to choose needs to be able to restrain himself. Does he seem curious about other people? Is he interested in things outside himself? Guys who are only interested in themselves can be pretty boring. You’ll want a guy who has hobbies, friends, and a good perspective on life. Is he in touch with his emotional side? Is he sensitive about other people? Lots of guys have an emotional side; the problem is they don’t want other people to see it. A guy who’s okay with other people seeing his emotions is a guy who’s both confident and mature. Is he kind and respectful? People often overlook those key measures for a healthy relationship. [2] X Expert Source Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 29 July 2021. Does he take things slow? Guys who take things slowly like to savor things. They care about getting every last drop of enjoyment out of being around you. Guys who are moving at the speed of light are often onto the next girl faster than you can say “letdown. "
How does he make you feel when you’re around him? Does he make you feel like he’s only interested in you, or does he seem like he flirts with other girls all the time, and you’re just another girl on his long list? Does he bring out the best in you, or is he okay with you just being “okay”? Does he challenge you and make you want to be a better person? Does he compliment you in a way that is meaningful and not forced? Does he make you blush, giggle, and feel like a giddy little girl? Does he treat you like a lady and make you feel special? How does he treat you when he’s stressed?[4] X Expert Source Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
Does the guy have a lot of baggage? Does he have a complicated past and a slew of emotional issues to deal with? Sure, you may have fun with him, but is that something you want to be responsible for in the long run? Is he bossy and manipulative? Does he always try to get his way, or is he incapable of admitting he’s wrong? These are serious signs that he’s probably a little selfish, and signs that you might get more than you bargained for in a relationship. Has he lied to you? You want a guy that you can trust, a guy who’s not afraid to be honest with you, regardless of how much the truth hurts. Guys who like gossiping and starting rumors probably don’t care much about other people, meaning stay away from him. Does he constantly get in trouble, either at school, with his parents, or with the authorities? Bad boys may have a certain sexiness about them, but chances are if they’re constantly distracted with shenanigans or hijinks, they won’t have any time to be around you. Does he still talk about his ex-girlfriend? If he’s still talking about his ex, dropping in little hints from time to time, or constantly talking about her, that’s a bad sign. [6] X Research source It doesn’t mean that he’s a bad guy; it just means that he still loves her.
You don’t have to ask outright. You can get a sense of how much guy feels about you just by the way he looks at you, by how often he wants to hang out, and by how much he talks about a future together. Of course, if you’re just looking to have fun with a summer fling or to get some dating experience for a few months, then you don’t have to care so much about whether the guy sees you as long term potential.
Don’t ask, “Who do you like better?” Ask, “Who do you think is better for me?” These questions will keep you from getting suggestions about who your friends would date, instead of who you should date. Be open to their suggestions! If you have your mind made up about who you want to date, there’s no use in asking your friends about their opinion. If you ask them for their input, be ready to follow it. [8] X Research source
Which guy will treat me better? Which guy will be there for me through the tough times? Which guy do I have more in common with? Which guy’s face will I always want to see at the end of the day? Which guy will get along better with my friends and family? Which guy can I not live without?
If you know one guy is bad for you but can’t help feeling attracted to him (and don’t really like the other guy), take a break from both guys. Not being in a relationship really isn’t bad. In fact, it’s much better than being burned. Learn from your mistakes. If you’ve dated a certain guy before and the relationship ended poorly, don’t make the same mistake all over again with another guy. Even if you feel attracted to him, what’s the use in going through the same thing all over again if it caused you heartbreak and misery?
Just don’t drag it on too long. If you pick one guy, but he finds out that you’ve been hanging out with another guy for the last few months, then he may feel slightly hurt or confused. Keep in mind, healthy relationships should feel like a calm ocean, not a total rollercoaster. For a healthy relationship that can go the distance, it’s better to look for 6/10 chemistry with a really great, solid friend who makes you feel secure than to aim for 10/10 chemistry and a lot of drama. [11] X Expert Source Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
Get ready to start dating and hanging out with only the guy you’ve chosen. Enjoy the benefits of being with one person without wondering what another guy is up to. If you feel empty or incomplete without the other guy, then it may either mean that you made the wrong decision or that you never liked the first guy that much in the first place – you only liked the chase. Be friendly to the other guy but don’t go out of your way to hang out with him or do stuff alone together. If you’re overly friendly with him, he might think that he still has a chance. Plus, it might get the guy you chose unnecessarily jealous.
Know that you may turn guys against each other. What if both guys are best friends? What do you do then? If you choose one and the other likes you, they’ll probably stop being best friends. If you want to avoid this situation altogether, date someone else instead. Be prepared to lose the guy that you didn’t choose. He may not want to be “just friends” after you hung out romantically or flirted with each other. But that may be for the best.
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes as long as you learn from them. Don’t worry about having everyone like you; when you’re making a big decision like this, feelings will get hurt.
