“Wow, you’re going through a lot. ” “Would it help to talk it out? I’m happy to listen. ” “It’s okay to cry. You can let it all out. I’m here for you. "
If she is really upset, try just murmuring, “It’s okay to cry” or “I’m here for you” until she calms down a little. Avoid statements telling her how to feel, like “don’t be sad” or “it’ll be okay. " Though you mean well, she might think that you don’t understand.
Say, “What exactly did Taylor do that is making you so upset? I want to make sure I understand what you’re dealing with. ”
“I can see this is important to you. " “That sounds like a tough situation. " “Just because it isn’t a big deal to your friends doesn’t mean it isn’t a big deal to you. It’s okay to be upset about it. " “Yes, that does sound frustrating. " “I can see you’re disappointed. Losing a game is no fun. " “It sounds like you’re really scared. It must be hard. "
“It sounds like you’re really frustrated with Dad right now. What do you think would help make things better?” “We can’t skip your vaccines, but maybe we can make them easier for you. What do you think might make it go better next time?” “I didn’t realize I was bothering you when I did that. What could I do differently to avoid upsetting you?” “What helpful things could I do the next time you get overwhelmed?”
“Would you like me to sit with you and hold your hand while you tell Mom and Dad about this?” “Should I run and get Mom if I think it looks like you’re going to have another episode?” “Would it help if I invited you shopping with me so you could pick out more foods that you like?”
Try saying, “I get that you don’t feel like talking. I’ll just hang out with you until you feel a little better. ”
Just say, “You look like you could use a hug. Can I give you one?”
For example, you could say, “Hey, do you want to focus on something else for a bit? I could use some help designing my holiday card. ” If she likes fashion, you could ask her to do some online shopping with you.
For example, if your sister has asthma, don’t ask her to go for a challenging run. Instead say, “I found a great new yoga studio. Do you want to go stretch it out and forget your worries for an hour?”
If you enjoy cooking, offer to cook her favorite dish. Better yet, cook a meal together! The treat doesn’t have to be food. You could head out to get a manicure together.
You could also turn on a funny show or ask if she wants to watch a silly movie. If she doesn’t feel like laughing, that’s okay. Just try other ways to comfort her.
Ask if she wants to go on a walk. You could even just sit together on the porch with a cup of tea.
