Try to look someone in the eye when you compliment them. This helps show that you mean what you’re saying. Being specific in your compliment will also make that compliment sound more genuine. For example, saying “That sweater looks nice on you” isn’t nearly as nice sounding as “Your eyes just sparkle when you wear that color”. [3] X Research source
For example, telling a woman that she looks so pretty when she wears makeup (which implies that she isn’t pretty normally). Another example would be racist compliments, such as saying that a guy is “smart for a black dude”.
For example, complimenting a female coworker on her appearance after she’s just given a presentation is demeaning and belittles the hard work she just put in. If you’re complimenting someone on doing something very well, such as preparing a meal or giving a great presentation, you should try to do it at the time, in front of everyone else. Having witnesses validates the compliment and gives the receiver a feeling of respect.
For example, don’t say something like “You did such a good job with that thing last week. I couldn’t have done that. I’m rubbish at it. "
For example: “I love how you interact with little kids. You’re so patient!” or “You did a great job on that poster! I just can’t stop looking at it!”
For example, if you notice your girlfriend looking sadly at another girl’s clothes and saying that she wished she could dress like that, tell her how much you love how she dresses and that you didn’t even notice the other girl.
Avoid overly familiar compliments, like compliments about their sexual characteristics. Compliment things they obviously take pride in, such as a very nice coat, a well-kept car, or a hand-made accessory. Compliment their actions or something you witness, such as after you see them be very nice to a cashier. This removes most of the creep factor. Example: “Thank you for being so kind with that man. It’s hard to be patient in that situation. I’m really impressed with how you handled it. "
Don’t compliment expecting anything in return. Just because you’re nice to someone doesn’t mean they owe you anything. They don’t even owe it to you to be flattered by the compliment. Compliment them with your actions. In romance, doing something nice for someone can often be more effective than saying something nice to someone. Sometimes, just telling them how attractive you find them is enough. Especially if they’re already dating you. Example: “I love it when you smile. It just lights up the whole room. "
Keep it appropriate. Awkward work compliments can bring on all sorts of trouble. Use the grandma test: if you wouldn’t say it to your grandmother, don’t say it to your coworker. Shoot for compliments on their work. This can also help avoid awkwardness. Compliment them to or in front of your boss. This shows not only how much you mean it but that you think they are worthy of even higher commendation. Example: “Hey, Mr. Banks, did you see how Sally handled that last customer? You would have been so proud. Some of the best customer service I’ve ever seen. "
