One helpful strategy is to write your family member a letter that you don’t actually intend to give them. Put the letter away for a few hours or overnight. Then come back to it and revise it. This will help you sort out your feelings and decide what to say.

Stay as calm as you can. Don’t raise your voice or let your emotions get the better of you. Say something like, “I am so disappointed that you took the money in my wallet. I never would have guessed that you would do something like that. ” This part of the conversation will probably be uncomfortable, but it is necessary. If your family member doesn’t feel remorse for what they’ve done, they may try to steal from you again in the future. [3] X Expert Source Allen Wagner, MFT, MAMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 24 September 2021.

Some possible consequences could include not allowing the person in your house anymore, severing your relationship with them, or going to the police. [6] X Research source

You might say, “Jared stole some money from my chest of drawers–I caught him in the act. I know he’s your responsibility, so I wanted to come to you before I decided on any disciplinary actions. "

If your family member is abusing drugs or alcohol, approach them with kindness and encouragement. Tell them that you’re worried about them, not that you’re disappointed in them. If they feel like you’re judging them, they may not want to accept help from you.

Depending on your relationship with them, they may be able to rebuild the damaged trust later. For now, though, you will have to keep an eye on your things when they are around. It may also help to get some distance from the person until you come to terms with what happened and they are able to make amends. [14] X Research source

If you feel guilty about filing a police report, remind yourself that your family member didn’t feel guilty about stealing your identity and wreaking havoc on your credit. Don’t let their crime turn into your burden. If the culprit is a child or teen, avoid involving any authorities and instead take the chance to talk to this individual about what’s right and wrong. You might say, “When people leave things in their home, they expect for them to be where they left them. They feel secure at home. When you take things that don’t belong to you from someone’s home or any other place, you make that place feel less secure. You also jeopardize the trust you have with that person. You understand what you did was wrong, right?”