You might say something casual like, “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while! What’s up?” You might suspect that you’re being ignored, but the only way to know for sure is asking. [3] X Expert Source Jessica George, MA, CHtCertified Professional Master Life Coach Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
Also, consider any factors that may have led them to be less communicative. For instance, if they are applying to colleges or if they just lost a close relative, they likely don’t have either the time or the desire to be particularly chatty.
Write down how these changes have affected you.
Consider whether or not you may have insulted your friend or lied to them about something. If you did do something wrong, be prepared to apologize to them when you next speak or do so now.
Consider talking to other relatives as well like aunts, uncles, or grandparents. You can also talk to your school counselor if it is really bothering you. Talk to your mutual friends. Your mutual friends likely have the best insight into why your friend is avoiding you. You might say to them “Hey, [insert friend’s name] has been avoiding me lately and I don’t know what’s up. Do you know?”
It’s best to meet in a quiet location like a park. Or you can meet at school somewhere. Say something like “Hey, we haven’t really spoken in a while, but I would really like to find some time to meet and talk for a bit if you’re up for it. We can go wherever you like. ”
For instance, you might say, “It’s really hurt me over the last few weeks that we haven’t spoken. Usually, when I reach out you get back to me quickly, but lately I haven’t heard from you. It’s really been bothering me because I consider you to be a good friend. ” Frame your questions as “I” statements — asking your friend a bunch of “Why?” questions may put them on the defensive and make them feel as though they are being interrogated. Instead of saying, “Why haven’t you gotten back to me?” try saying, “I value you as a friend, and I am disheartened that I haven’t heard from you in such a long time. Is there something I may have done to offend you or hurt your feelings in any way?”
Don’t interrupt them or be rude. Apologize if they tell you that you have offended them in anyway. Try not to argue over the point — providing an apology will help heal any pain they may be experiencing and start mending the friendship.
Practice deep breathing to help you remain calm. During the conversation, breathe in deeply and quietly through your nose and exhale slowly. This will help keep your heart rate at a normal level.
Again, if you have hurt them in anyway, offer a sincere and genuine apology. If they have been dealing with issues that you were unaware of, express your support for them and tell them that you will always be there for them if they want to talk about it.
Since you have at this point reached out to them via phone and by letter, try to make this the last time that you reach out. You don’t want to burden them or make them feel stalked. Say your peace and let that be the end of it. You can also write to them on social media if you don’t have their address.
Make sure, however, if you did offend your friend in some way, to not do the same to your friends from here on out. Consider the best and worst case scenarios in this situation. Make your peace with either situation before they even happen and just go with the flow.
