If you notice a really severe personality change and other mutual friends do, too, talk to the person immediately. They could be in a position where they really need help. Keep in mind that they might not even be aware they’re giving you the silent treatment. People can withdraw from others for a variety of reasons without realizing it.
If you are in a manipulative, controlling, or abusive relationship, you might want to see a therapist to discuss the relationship and your place in it. It can also help to share your concerns about your relationship with a trusted friend or family member, who can support you during a difficult time.
If they refuse to meet or talk with you, that’s a pretty good indication that they’re using the silent treatment to manipulate or control you. It’s okay at that point to tell them you understand they don’t want to talk, and that you’ll be walking away from the relationship.
For example, you can say things like, “I’ve really enjoyed spending time/working with you,” or “I’m hoping you can help me figure out what’s happening between us, because I appreciate your friendship so much. " Ask if you’ve done something to upset them and let them know you want to make the situation right.
You can say something like “Sally, I really love you and I value our friendship, but I feel hurt when you shut me out. I hope we can talk about this and sort it out. "
For example, instead of saying, “I’m really hurt and I’ve been losing sleep over it and I’ll do anything to get out friendship back,” you can say something like “I feel hurt and sad when you won’t talk to me. If you’d like to talk, I’m happy to talk, too. ”
For example, if they say something like, “A few weeks ago, we were talking about my job and you said something that really hurt my feelings. I wasn’t sure how to deal with it so I’ve been speaking to you less,” then you have something concrete you can address and apologize for. If, however, they say something like “I asked you to go to dinner with me but you said no because you had to go to your aunt’s funeral,” then it’s likely they’re manipulating you into putting them before anyone and anything else. If they just ignore you or completely change the subject instead of answering your question, they’re also likely manipulating you, and it’s okay to simply walk away.
Stop and listen to what your friends are saying in a conversation, rather than rushing in to say what you want. Be honest in your conversations. If you don’t want to do something, say so. If something bothers you, tell them about it. Pay attention to what they don’t say. You can figure out a lot about how a person is feeling by their body language. If they don’t make eye contact, seem distracted, or stand with their hands folded, they are likely upset. [4] X Research source
If the person giving you the silent treatment is someone you work with, you probably can’t just walk away. Instead, only interact with that person when it’s absolutely necessary. Remain professional and calm, but don’t go above and beyond in any way in your interactions with them.
