Changing how you react to their grandiose claims (if you typically push back, try randomly agreeing with them to confuse them). Taking a new leadership position over them if you’re coworkers or classmates. Suddenly showing them little or no reaction to their behavior.
They’ll try to persuade you to regain control of you. Stay firm and stick to your boundaries—backpedaling is an invitation for them to keep poking. Switching up when you say “yes” and when you say “no” is a good way to make yourself unpredictable and keep the narcissist on their toes.
Non-judgmentally commenting on what’s happening, like “There isn’t a reason to be upset right now” or “Your behavior seems aggressive. ” Giving them simple “yes” or “no” answers to their questions and trying not to directly agree or disagree with them. Keeping your body language relaxed and unbothered.
This is a great, subtle tactic to use when you’re stuck with a narcissist and can’t remove yourself from the situation. The narcissist will poke and prod to get some kind of rise out of you. Eventually, they’ll leave you alone to seek attention from someone else.
It’s hard to withhold information if you live with a narcissistic family member or partner. Try to only share what’s necessary. Keep conversations brief and avoid personal topics like your childhood or love life. Always speak carefully when you answer their questions about you. It’s hard for a narcissist to misquote silence. When in doubt, just stop talking to them.
Disengaging is a self-care tactic too. Talking with a narcissist can often feel frustrating, depleting, and like you’re hitting your head against a wall. If they start to yell or get verbally abusive, leave the room or hang up the phone to reinforce that you will not let them talk that way to you.
The more desperate they are for attention, the uglier their attempts to reach you will be. Going “no contact” is a tool many narcissists use to passive-aggressively manipulate others. They’ll be thrown off by a taste of their own medicine.
This tactic is even more effective if you do it while other people are around to witness it. Shattering a narcissist’s perfect image halts them in their tracks. The cognitive dissonance between reality and their inner thoughts makes it hard for them to volley back at you.
“Can you explain that timeline again? It sounds like you were in 2 places at the same time…” “Did you mean to take all the credit for a team project, or was that an accident?” “Are you asking me to help you with the yardwork, or just to do it all for you?”
Clarifying who the narcissist has to share credit with for projects or group assignments. Prompting someone to share a similar, more interesting story than the narcissist’s at a party. Reminiscing about a time you outperformed or beat the narcissist as something they claim to be great at.
It could be as simple as beating them in a board game or recreational sport. Outperform them or earn a promotion over them at work to show they have to take you seriously as a professional. Taking any kind of leadership role over them at school, at work, or in the community will force them to look at you as a superior.
